New Zealand: A Constellation of Thoughts

One of my favourite things about New Zealand, and Queenstown in particular, are the stars. They twinkle like gems in the night sky, struggling behind the sometimes-obscuring clouds but, other times, shining bright on their own. They are such a feature of this country that they are emblazoned on the flag; the Southern Cross both steers New Zealanders towards their sense of nation whilst physically guiding people as to where they are in relation to the world. It's no surprise that every night as I look up I find myself getting, quite ironically, lost.

The stars in Glasgow are almost always covered by cloud and smog, and its a sure-fire sign of being the city trailing behind you when you begin to see a twinkling in the night sky. My favourite places in the city are the highest points, where you can see the bright lights of the city-scape but, if especially lucky, what looks like their reflection in the glassy black of the night sky.

Needless to say, in leaving Glasgow and everything I knew and moving to the other side of the world, I lost every bearing I had. I don't mean to dramatise, because I am not the first and will certainly not be the last to take such a trip, but all compass points that had hitherto guided and steered me, were completely inverted. The constant shape of Aryan's belt was replaced by a constellation of uncertainty and change.

Post-university life is overwhelming, in a way that can be underestimated. You are removed from your comfort zone of a close social circle, studying and not having to think too far into the expanse of the future. Suddenly, as the future speeds towards you, it begins to feel like a black hole. It's a pressure that can be difficult to comprehend and manage. Me and many of my other friends really struggle/ed with this, and we're all navigating our way towards the healthiest way of dealing with this. For me, this just happened to be moving to the other side of the world.

In moving, I felt like, rightly or wrongly, I was facing this black hole head on. If I was feeling so out of sync with what I was familiar with, the most logical thing seemed to create a new familiar that was very far from anything I was used to. Hence, New Zealand.

In looking up at the stars here I feel very, very small. Instead of feeling intimidated by this as I did post-university, I've found myself starting to revel in the expanse of the world around me rather than my insignificance in it. Pushing this energy out rather than absorbing this inwards has been exciting, healthy and challenging in equal measure. Appreciating my position as a little, meaningless yet essential blob of stardust makes me feel special and fragile in a combination that encourages me to make the most of the tiny sliver of the world that my life encompasses.